Strange star-like object over Oslo right before Obama arrives. A gift of a golden medal given by a group of wise men... Nah.

I was 15 years old when I was in this band; we were called Stag. We used to wear spandex pants and no underwear - we looked like marbles smugglers.

Some people watching CNN were so shocked they started rioting. No, I'm kidding. No one watches CNN.

It seemed that I performed better sober than drunk. Who knew?

I hated the summer jobs I had when I was a teenager. They were so mundane and repetitious, they deadened my soul. On the bright side, it was good training for this job.

You clap. The Censor wakes up. We all get into trouble.

It's a great day for Sarah Palin. She was hired as a commentator for Fox News. She signed a multi-year contract, which means she'll probably quit after a year.