I became a terrible drunk or alcoholic - or a good one depending on your point of view.

Technically my dog's naked most of the time. Except halloween, when I dress him up as Liza Minelli.

I'm so excited about the new iPad, I just iPeed my iPants.

Why don't they allow professional wrestling at the Olympics? They allow pro basketball players and hockey players. Olympic pro wrestling would be awesome. The team from Mexico could wear those Mr. X masks. The French wrestler could hit his opponent with a baguette. Or perhaps just surrender.

I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else's.

A friend of mine that I was in a band with started me on Kafka, which in turn led to Camus and Sartre.

I'm hooked on email. That's right, kids, I'm one of you.