The Afghan government is as corrupt as a prostitute with a law degree.

Betty White met with President Obama at the White House. President Obama invited Betty personally because she's great with animals. And the president's still having a tough time house-training Joe Biden.

I aim to please. I'm nothing if not a vaudevillian.

Ros was dead. He had loved heroin more than it loved him. I was shocked beyond imagining; he was the first of my friends to fall.

Ratings experts say the best way to get people to watch during sweeps is to leave the audience with a question that won't be answered until the next time the show is on. You know, like Who shot J.R.? I like to think I do this every night - the question is, Is this show still on?

I hope what I do has an art to it, and as an artist you have to try new things and keep yourself entertained.

After all this time I found that the novel is in fact punk rock.