For example, in Paris, if one desires to buy something, you enter the store and say "Good morning, sir" or "madam," depending on what is appropriate, you wait until you are greeted, you make polite chitchat about the weather or some such, and when the salesperson asks what they can do for you, then and only then do you bring up the vulgar business of the transaction you require.

Director Oliver Stone says he's going to make a movie about Vladimir Putin. I can't believe anyone would want to work with that insane communist. And Putin is a little crazy as well.

I have that hypocrisy of a parent in that I'm like,'Come on, you've got to toughen up at the same time let me take care of that for you.

I have no ambitions beyond being comfortable in what I do for a living - and earning a living.

I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that.

You can never talk religion on network TV. It makes too many people angry. You can talk about sex.

I know that's not the right accent, but I can't do the right accent. It's either the wrong accent or another Octomom joke.