The new Pope, Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio, is now Pope Francis the 1st. Francis was not his first choice for a name. But the Vatican wisely talked him out of Pope Boo Boo.

I don't get emails from my corporate overlords.

If you can't trust, you can't be trustworthy.

In Washington, the U.S. House passed a bill unanimously. Every single member of both parties voted for it. What was it? To deny Social Security benefits to Nazis. So from now on, no SS for the SS.

The rain is giving much needed relief to California's crops. By that I mean 'marijuana.'

You can never talk religion on network TV. It makes too many people angry. You can talk about sex.

I'm hooked on email. That's right, kids, I'm one of you.