I come from a very critical culture. You know the Scots. They're always saying: 'Oh, no. It will never work. You'll never amount to anything. You've got to know your place in the world.

A lot of people come to L.A. looking for something. What I came here for, I realize now, is to be okay with myself.

If Scotland and America go to war, I'm afraid I've already sworn in.

I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that.

I'm careful with money.

Self help books are pointless. Here's something for you... Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, and self help books are from Uranus.

Saudia Arabia takes in half a trillion dollars every year in oil revenue, and the country has a population smaller than New York state, but when your system of government is an eleventh century monarchy, someone's going to end up poor, and it's not gonna be the guy whose first name is King.