Now that healthcare is guaranteed, I'm frying everything I eat. Fried food and cigarettes.

New iPod. It looks like an iPhone but it can't make phone calls. So its really just an iPhone.

If you know anything about me - and, if you do, I'm sorry that your life turned out like that.

World War Z is out today. The big zombie movie. The trailer looks scary. You see hordes of bodies climbing and rolling over each other. It's like Black Friday at the mall.

President Obama announced his re-election campaign, though it’s not really a surprise. He did all the things that make it official: He filed the paperwork, redesigned his website, and printed another fake birth certificate.

It seemed that I performed better sober than drunk. Who knew?

If I start giving people what they like I'll turn into one of them and I don't want to be one of them I want to be one of me.