My pilot's license. I'm proud of that.
The Afghan government is as corrupt as a prostitute with a law degree.
Don't ever rope me in as a late-night talk show host. I don't want to be one.
There's a commercial break coming and I'm very excited about it and you know why? Because that's what keeps daddy in suits.
The White House announced plans to begin normalizing relations with Cuba - this as we're awkwardizing relations with Russia.
The U.S. Senate is considering a bill that would tax Botox. When Botox users heard this, they were horrified. Well, I think they were horrified. It's difficult to tell.