Tomorrow is your future's yesterday.

I don't think of myself of a late-show host any more than I think of myself of a game-show host. I mean, I've done both, I've been an actor. I'm just kind of a carny, that's it.

The three drunkest cities in America: Fresno, Riverside, and whatever Mel Gibson is driving through.

The sexy magazine in Britain in that time was called Club International. Club International: It was about as international as the International House of Pancakes. It should have been called Naked Cockney Girls with Scurvy.

It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear.

You clap. The Censor wakes up. We all get into trouble.

Here at CBS, spring also means March Madness. I love the name March Madness. I'm glad the PC police haven't made us change March Madness to early spring psychosis.