People talk to old people like they're children.'Oh you're very old aren't you?' Yeah I'm old. I'm not stupid.

Being the executive producer of a film is not that difficult. It just means that you have some power. There's not a huge amount of skill involved, I don't know how much I'm giving away here. I feel like that guy on Fox, giving away the magicians' tricks. It's not rocket science, being an executive producer of a film.

These days, teachers have it rough. Kids can be hyperactive, disobedient, and obnoxious. It must feel like being locked in a room of drunk midgets.

I view my own body as a petting zoo. I am the main attraction... And the only customer.

I did have a love for literature that overpowered my hatred of the people who taught it, and I think because I had no respect for the teachers, their attitude didn't poison the writing that I was discovering for myself.

You know who they're blaming for global warming now? This is true. Fat people.

Don't hit women. Never, ever, ever.