I hope what I do has an art to it, and as an artist you have to try new things and keep yourself entertained.

Larry King has been married more times than Henry the Eighth. We used to have that rhyme to keep track of them. 'Divorced, beheaded, died. Divorced, beheaded, survived.' With Larry I think it goes, 'Divorced, beheaded, divorced, escaped. Zombie, lesbian, disappeared, inflatable.

I haven't had a drink in thirteen years, but occasionally I'm tempted to have one beer. The problem is that if I have that one beer, I wake up in Tijuana four days later with a tattoo and a sore ass.

If you watch cooking shows on cable, they have lots of British people. Because when you think good cooking, you immediately think Britain.

It's all about the triumph of intellect and romance over brute force and cynicism.

It's a great day for America, everybody! It's Monday, woo.

I aim to please. I'm nothing if not a vaudevillian.