Critics say Arnold has no previous government experience, but advisers say he's clearly the most qualified Austrian, ex-Mr. Universe in the race.

Bush said the unemployment situation is turning around. Last week alone, 5,000 people started working for John Kerry.

Boeing is working on an invisible fighter jet so nobody can see who's flying it. Didn't George Bush fly this in the National Guard, I believe?

Yesterday Jerry Springer bowed out of the Ohio Senate race. He said, 'If I can't run the most embarrassing campaign in America, then I'm out of here.'

President Bush announced a billion dollar mission to the moon and Mars. He came up with a snappy new slogan - to drill where no man has drilled before.

Larry Flynt, running for governor of California. His goal - change our state bird to the spread eagle.

California's economy is declining so rapidly that candidates are asking 'Are you better off now then you were four minutes ago?'