There was an embarrassing moment at a recent Democratic fundraiser. When John Kerry was handed a $10 million dollar check, he said, 'I do.'

President Bush said John Kerry is on both sides of every issue. And Kerry replied, 'No, I'm not ... but there is some truth to that.'

Over ten thousand people have signed a petition to recall Governor Schwarzenegger. I'm sorry, that is next year's joke.

Today, John Kerry announced a fool-proof plan to wipe out the $500B deficit. John Kerry has a plan, he's going to put it on his wife's Gold Card.

I lived in a studio apartment until my mid-30s. I don't have an extravagant lifestyle.

This is so weird. I saw the new John Kerry campaign commercial and he says, 'I'm John Kerry and I approve of this message - if I have one.'

President Bush says in the last month he has created 300,000 new jobs. Yeah, they're called Kerry campaign workers.