Clinton said he feels safe in Harlem. It's the only place in the state Hillary is scared to look for him after dark.

Singer Boy Dylan was stopped at his own sow by security guards who failed to recognize the singer. Asked to comment, Dylan replied, 'I can hardly blame them. Look at me.'

I enjoyed retirement the right way linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese.

New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut.

Bush said the unemployment situation is turning around. Last week alone, 5,000 people started working for John Kerry.

In Louisiana, President Bush met with over 15,000 National Guard troops. Here's the weird part, nobody remembers seeing him there.

The prison scandal is really hurting President Bush's poll numbers. In fact, I hear he's already working on his concession smirk.