Clinton said he feels safe in Harlem. It's the only place in the state Hillary is scared to look for him after dark.

Today, John Kerry announced a fool-proof plan to wipe out the $500B deficit. John Kerry has a plan, he's going to put it on his wife's Gold Card.

Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down.

Saddam Hussein is about to face trial and George Bush wants to execute him. Not because of the war crimes, but because Saddam is beating him in the polls.

Or as hockey player Sergei Fedorov knows it, 'The day I can legally start telling everyone I am sleeping with Anna Kournikova.'

President Bush is not fazed by other candidates' war records. He said, I may have not fought in Vietnam, but I created one.

People here in Los Angeles are disgusted now about a sex scandal involving Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently for seven years, he carried on a sexual relationship with his own wife.