You may have heard this, that NASA discovered water on Mars When he heard about the water on Mars, President Bush said, 'Is it regular or unleaded?'

Boeing is working on an invisible fighter jet so nobody can see who's flying it. Didn't George Bush fly this in the National Guard, I believe?

My brother asked me once, 'Are you a misanthrope?' And I said, 'No, I just find people irritating.'

Maria Shriver is credited with helping Arnold win by standing by him despite allegations of groping. She had to stand by him cause Arnold had a vice grip on her left ass cheek.

John Kerry will undergo surgery to repair his right shoulder. He originally hurt it when he suddenly switched positions on Iraq.

Federal authorities have informed Martha Stewart's lawyers she will be indicted for her role in the ImClone insider trading scandal. Good news for Martha - stripes are back in this year.

I lived in a studio apartment until my mid-30s. I don't have an extravagant lifestyle.