As the Democrats get revved up at their convention in Boston, President Bush is fighting back the only way he knows how: by going on vacation! Ah, it's nice to take a rest, replenish your supply of smirks. The vacation was expected, because Bush traditionally takes a month off every summer to relax and avoid reading National Security Warnings.

A study shows breast implants can cause nausea and dizziness... from all the free drinks.

Hillary Clinton has finished writing her book where she says her marriage couldn't be stronger, and Bill just finished his book titled 'Chicks I Nailed While Hillary was Writing Her Book.'

The places I've worked in the past, I always stayed three years and moved on.

This is so weird. I saw the new John Kerry campaign commercial and he says, 'I'm John Kerry and I approve of this message - if I have one.'

While there's no 'I' in team, there's also no 'you', okay? So back off.

I always tell people I romanticize about doing something simple, like doing radio in northern California.