Friends are the twenty-first-century version of extended families.

If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?

A person who uses party as a verb is a person who will walk into a shop and walk out wearing a rubber jumpsuit.

Dogs and humans are symbiotic species. We need each other.

There is one thing that humans strive for with every cell, every gene, every nerve fiber of our beings. ... More than Mallomars, more than hot sex, we want to belong.

a car is just a moving, giant handbag! You never have actually to carry groceries, or dry cleaning, or anything! You can have five pairs of shoes with you at all times!

The Pain-Free Shopping Method: Buy a present for you, then a present for a friend. Then another present for you. Then a present for a friend. Then two presents for you. Then a present for a friend. Then go home, get into bed, and pull up the covers.