Friends are the twenty-first-century version of extended families.

Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with the most appalling people.

The only women who don't believe that sexual harassment is a real problem in this country are women who have never been in the workplace.

If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?

It seems to me, correct me if I'm wrong, that there are an awful lot of people in Manhattan. And it's getting worse.

A comedian is not funny unless he is taking his demons out for a walk.

Show me a woman who is prouder of her clean kitchen than of her collection of lingerie and I'll show you a woman with enlarged pores.