If somebody's cat happens to turn on the TV, my numbers can double. It's almost unrelated to what's really happening.

I walk with God, and He protects me. That may very well be true. I don't mean to make that sound like a joke, in case He is in charge.

I wish that television would stop selling our hatred of ourselves, and start seducing us with our love of ourselves.

I don't think it's going to be possible for the next generation of writers to tell stories without telling stories about telling stories.

Everything I do, in the middle of it, I lose all objectivity. The business of comedy is kind of ridiculous in that respect. Your job is to have a lot of fun in a jar, then sell it. There's something inherently illogical and impossible about that, but that being said, this is as good as it gets.

I wish people used wishes to modify themselves instead of others. Wish to be low maintenance. Wish to be autonomous, even.

Garry Shandling has always been a pioneer of… meta entertainment. He's always been a defender of the creative right to use the frame as part of the painting.