I never read the tabloids.

Am I not turtley enough for the Turtle Club? Turtle! Turtle!

After years of begging, I got my parents to get me a little Craig tape recorder, a reel to reel. Then I started recording voices, or recording Jonathan Winters off television and stuff like that.

You know, Elizabeth Taylor must be in Heaven going, 'Alright, fire two honey!'

You know, sometimes you can't just take an armadillo, put it in the barn, light it on fire and expect it to make licorice.

I'm a real people-pleaser.

Describing comic sensibility is near impossible. It's sort of an abstract silliness, that sometimes the joke isn't the star.