The two things that can hurt you are if you need money or if you need fame. Those are the things that can be your Achilles' heel. But if you don't need money and you don't need fame, then you're free.

Please, O ye Lord, keep Jim Bakker behind bars.

I always tend to think of all of my shows as possibly my last show. I'm like a junior Springsteen, without the underbite.

You know, Elizabeth Taylor must be in Heaven going, 'Alright, fire two honey!'

I did a lot of ridiculous television. Between 1980 and '85 I had no confidence, so I did everything I was told to do.

While many comics have a secret persona, I fundamentally want to be myself.

I never read the tabloids.