Am I not turtley enough for the Turtle Club? Turtle! Turtle!

Please, O ye Lord, keep Jim Bakker behind bars.

I used to sneak up to the 8th floor and watch Eddie Murphy and Joe Piscopo rehearsing 'Saturday Night Live' and could only wonder if I would ever have the chance to be funny. It took me five years to go up the two stories, but it is such a sense of fulfillment to be able to show what I can do on national television.

I'm thirty years old, but I read at the thirty-four-year-old level.

I did a lot of ridiculous television. Between 1980 and '85 I had no confidence, so I did everything I was told to do.

I don't find biology as interesting as politics and humanism. I talk more about existential stuff.

While many comics have a secret persona, I fundamentally want to be myself.