I have this dream life where I get to be a celebrity but I get to kind of navigate the world fairly easily because I'm always in character.

A mom and dad found an S&M magazine under their 10-year-old son's bed, and the dad said, 'Well, we sure can't spank him.'

Please, O ye Lord, keep Jim Bakker behind bars.

If you just kind of live a regular life and make good 'Hollywood' money, you have a certain freedom.

That's why modern corporate movie making has become so laborious that comedians are kind of kicked out by 50.

It's almost like he's started to sound even more exotic the more people started doing him. I don't know why, but there's just something about Al Gore that makes me laugh.

I have no regrets. I wanted to raise the kids and be a present father. When I developed a movie, I was gone for a year. That didn't really work for me. That isn't fair to make these life-forms and then disappear.