Sometimes girls act all TNT Network because they know drama. That's when guys get all TBS around you because we think it's very funny.

If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny.

When you see somebody walking down the street wearing a Superman t-shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest ... when they start to bleed go, I guess not

I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...

You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.

Someone needs to make a zombie movie where when you get bit it turns you into a singing and dancing extraordinaire.

I don't get any anxiety. I don't because of two reasons. Number one, just breaking through it as a kid and finally getting past it was like okay, nothing's ever going to feel that scary again as that deafening silence of a joke not working. Any joke not working is not as bad as not being able to even try and get on stage.