If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are geographically undesirable.

I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.

If you lie to a person at least tell someone else you've lied to the truth. It balances out your karma.

You can't teach an old hater new truths.

When a guy says "I have no idea what you're talking about" it means "I'm thinking of exactly what you're saying I did while I lie to you."

Some people give you that motivation to work harder simply to get the hell away from wherever they are.

You have to realize, when you're a comedian, that you have to have a thick skin. And trust me, being onstage in front of people is already difficult enough. Somebody's personal attack in an email is not as hard as getting onstage.