I don't know if I could kill someone with a frozen turkey because that is a lot of evidence to eat .... unless I found a whole room of people who also wanted that person dead.

If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them to work for you. Theyre very, very savvy in terms of how they find you and get to you.

True love is when you're cheating on a person but the thought of them still makes your eyes smile!

We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits.

It really drives me banana sangwich.

I do think I am funny, or I wouldn't be where I am today. I do think there is always room for improvement and learning.

Why do they call it the restroom? Is there anybody just resting in this room?