I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.

You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you.

I live my life like there's no yesterday.

I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.

Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.

I had never done a roast, but I really wanted to, because it's so different from standup.

My real first job was delivering newspapers with I was 15. I would ride my bike around and chuck papers at people's houses. The thing that sucked is when I would go collecting everyone acted like they were not home. Totally sucked but because I could control the weather I showered trashcan size hail down on their homes until they were completely decimated.