I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.

I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.

When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.

Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.

You can't become tempted if you just give in a little quicker.

On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.

I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.