What happens in Vegas, I'm telling everyone.

Why do they call it the restroom? Is there anybody just resting in this room?

When you see somebody walking down the street wearing a Superman t-shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest ... when they start to bleed go, I guess not

I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.

If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny.

The problem with dating a model is they won't go out with you if your cars color doesn't match their outfit.

Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.