Time machine... wouldn't you like to travel through time? I would. I'd go back... mess with people. You know what I would do? I would go back to when my mom and dad were having sex, to have me. Ya'know, come in, spank my dad on the ass I'm your son from the future! Ahaha!

I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.

I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.

I'm sure that people who have been tweeting funny things have ended up on writing staffs of a late night show.

I don't hate anyone. I simply block them out using hellish visions in a blind white rage. But if I see them out I'm pleasant.

I'm glad that my parents missed one thing that was really unbelievable. They saw me hit this great success. It was a blast and we had a lot of laughs. And it was just an amazing time. They passed away. And then after I got, you know, famous, all these haters came out of nowhere.

I love being on stage if I'm not on a set. If I'm at home, I'm usually in my office editing or reconstructing my website or whatever it may be. I just love putting creativity into a performance.