I can't relate to the idea of suicide. I guess I'm just one of those people that is always optimistic and upbeat. But one day, I sat down. I said 'You know what? Just to kind of purge myself, I want to see what its like to feel that low'. So I decided to write a suicide note. Yeah, just to kinda flush it out there and put it on a page. And I started to do this, and I had an epiphany. I'll share this with you: a suicide note that is written by somebody that is not suicidal is called an autobiography. I am on Chapter 58.

I don't like when juice wears tights, its a horrible combination when juice wears tights.

My grandmother died of natural causes. Or as my family calls it murdered by the lord.

The little boy inside of all us men always loves something video game related.

I love singing along to the radio while I'm riding in the back of a squad car.

There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.

Teach your kids to make deplorable choices and hopefully they'll rebel and make the right ones.