I don't get any anxiety. I don't because of two reasons. Number one, just breaking through it as a kid and finally getting past it was like okay, nothing's ever going to feel that scary again as that deafening silence of a joke not working. Any joke not working is not as bad as not being able to even try and get on stage.

I had never done a roast, but I really wanted to, because it's so different from standup.

I never leave a dog alone in a car on a hot day. I make sure it's with an elderly person holding a baby.

When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.

I got home from work today and took like a one hundred hour nap. No you did not. You'd be very sick if you were taking one hundred hour naps. That's a coma! If you said you took a coma after work I'd be able to follow the story.

The key to attempting to create art in some aspect is also knowing that it will turn some people off.

Every great thing starts with an idea, followed by a doubt and finally a resolve to abandon or pursue. Victory is a treacherous journey.