I kind of always think my work is unfilmable, and when I meet people who are interested in filming it, I'm always stunned.

Life isn't fair," he said, in his undisguised voice, and for once the Baudelaire orphans agreed with every word the man said.

...that's not why we broke up. I love it, I miss it, I hate to give it back to you, this complicated thing, it's why we stayed together

If we wait until we're ready, we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives.

Santa Claus has nothing to do with it," the latke said. "Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things." "But different things can often blend together," said the pine tree. "Let me tell you a funny story about pagan rituals.

Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.

Announcing your death should be like announcing that you are a lunar moth: It must be done quietly or it will not be believed.