Racing does to white guys what movies do to black guys.
I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.
I never want to cannibalize my act, and I'm really excited that I am going to be able to perform new material. I'm not a huge fan of repeating jokes, and I don't really do any of my old material from old stand-up acts.
I don't think I could stab somebody, cause I'm really bad at a Capri Sun.
Kangoroos can't hop backwards.
Maybe everyone doesn't deserve a second chance. If I can be perfect why can't you?