If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.

Until I see proof of this reincarnation or cloning, I'm gonna live up this life. That was kinda the path I took. But I fulfilled my obligations.

I like my women like I like my coffee . . . I don’t like coffee.

I don't believe space exists. You're not gonna put a camera on a roomba, stick it in the desert, and tell me it's Mars.

Thank you people that are laughing with your hand away from your mouth. That joke is clearly not for everyone, but I enjoy watching people that don't laugh make the people that do laugh feel shitty about themselves.

I worked in Toronto for two days. And by work I mean sit in a trailer for 15 hours, say two lines, and leave.

I grew up in Florida and went to school there, and ended up going to University of Central Florida.