I guess it could be seen as a form of rebellion, but (my dad) is pretty supportive. He's knows I'm just an idiot, so I think that softens it a little bit.

You know, you can only cram your beliefs down a young kid's throat for so long before he goes, "you know, the other side seems to be having a lot more fun."

I hate the idea of owning a gun, but I love the idea of owning a cannon.

Have you heard about the morning after pill, or what I like to call breakfast in bed. Well have you heard about how some of the girls who have taken have died a few days later? Talk about two birds, looks like I will be going to the game this weekend boys.

Something horrible happens and I try to make it funny. It's really a tortured life. You go to a salsa bar, at your local burrito stand, and you know, you think "how can you make a joke about this?"

I assume the only reason we have them is so that white people feel relevant in sports. Because other than that the only thing the winter Olympics show me is which country has more rich white kids. What's it cost to go skiing - $900 a day? I can't believe that's not more popular in the inner cities.

I worked in Toronto for two days. And by work I mean sit in a trailer for 15 hours, say two lines, and leave.