How come New York gets all the cool plane crashes?

This is what I say to the most conservative person that's so terrified of gay marriage becoming legal. Just because the state says it's legal, it's not like God's going to let them into Heaven. So you can still sleep sound every night knowing that goal line defense is up at the pearly gates.

Oh, southern rappers... so hard to write a rhyme when you only know 30 words.

e foundation to a good friendship is trust but the foundation to good comedy is by betraying your friends.

Even people who don't believe in science still have to believe in gravity.

We owe it to our troops to let them sleep in their own beds, wake up in the morning, have a delicious breakfast, and drive to war.

It's not Spring Break until somebody dies!