People write a lot of similar material. That's why I try to come up with the most absurd jokes.

Being a white boxer is like being a republican. No matter how hard you work, you'll always lose because of the Mexicans.

The great thing about Los Angeles is that you can get so much money in this town by constantly failing. You can get a lot of television deals that don't go anywhere, but you still get paid.

A white lady came running up to me after a show. She goes, What gives you the right to do jokes about black people like that. And I'm like, Listen lady, my best friend is Cuban. And that's close enough.

You know what really shuts up a bully? Learning how to build a pipe-bomb!

Is it okay to roofie a girl just to shut her up?

Babies aren't dishwasher-safe.