The great thing about Los Angeles is that you can get so much money in this town by constantly failing. You can get a lot of television deals that don't go anywhere, but you still get paid.

You are a sick freak who should be beaten.

You know what really keeps your staff on their toes? A harpoon gun.

The national anthem blows. Are you kidding me? Do any of you have it on your iPod?

The flat-brimmed cap is the modern day dunce cap.

If Canada were really that great, it would be a state.

I don't believe space exists. You're not gonna put a camera on a roomba, stick it in the desert, and tell me it's Mars.