I'm not a racist or misogynist person, but I find these jokes funny, so I say them.

I guess it could be seen as a form of rebellion, but (my dad) is pretty supportive. He's knows I'm just an idiot, so I think that softens it a little bit.

e foundation to a good friendship is trust but the foundation to good comedy is by betraying your friends.

Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.

I'm also not good with numbers either, so it's not a great mix. People apparently don't want you ball-parkin' it when it comes to their finances.

Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to take a home pregnancy test. Then I can say, 'Hey, at least I'm not pregnant.'

If you look at the Bible and you look at Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we all know who sinned first. Ladies, do you have to eat everything?