I don't know, maybe I'm immature, but I still find it funny if I dump cold water on my girlfriend when she's in the shower.

I'm aware that I should end a joke with the good part, I choose not too.

I don't know what's funny and what's not so I test out all of my material in front of audiences.

I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That's when you throw change on sluts.

I'm not a good actor, I can play myself and a much gayer version of myself. That's my range.

We owe it to our troops to let them sleep in their own beds, wake up in the morning, have a delicious breakfast, and drive to war.

Here's a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent.