Sometimes my mind wanders; other times it leaves completely.
I don't think I could stab somebody, cause I'm really bad at a Capri Sun.
The only thing surfers have in common with the rest of America is they're unemployed and they love crystal meth.
I mean my goal is to get Michael Richards to do stand up at the Laugh Factory to an all black audience.
The only thing better than the world's cutest cat is any dog.
We owe it to our troops to let them sleep in their own beds, wake up in the morning, have a delicious breakfast, and drive to war.