I don't know what popping-and-locking is but I know to lock my car door whenever people are doing it.

I have no real talents. If I could make a living at a normal job, I'm sure I would do that.

I mean my goal is to get Michael Richards to do stand up at the Laugh Factory to an all black audience.

If you had to eat another human to survive, do you think they'd taste like their ethnic background?

How come everybody cheers when chicks flash their T&A, but when I pull out my D&Bs, i'm a registered sex offender.

Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.

The most important part of any CrossFit workout is posting about it endlessly on social media. How about you just brag about all the kettlebell burpees you did to the other whackos in your cult?