Somebody bought me a Snuggie as a joke gift. Haha, the joke's on you, I enjoy it. I toss and turn at night, finally a blanket that's like, 'I'm going to keep you warm.' It's like having a small child with polio keep you in a full nelson - the perfect pressure.

The only advice I have for youth is to date outside your race. I just think it's so cute when I see little kids in interracial relationships; it makes me feel like I'm watching a commercial.

It's funny... you can make fun of AIDS or Haiti, but if you make fun of some starlet in Hollywood's looks? That's like the one thing... the line you are not to cross.

I think pro-athletes should be forced to use steroids. I think we as fans deserve the greatest athletes science can create! Lets go! Anything that will make you run faster, jump higher! I have High-Definition TV! I want my athletes like my video games! Lets go! I could care less if you die at 40. You hate life after sports anyways. I'm doing you a favor.

I was drinking tea the other day, and I thought: they used to fight wars over this.

I don't believe space exists. You're not gonna put a camera on a roomba, stick it in the desert, and tell me it's Mars.

Comedy Central wanted to do a show with me, I had a couple failures under my belt with them already, but they still wanted to try something else. They came to me and said they wanted to do something that was internet focused and created original content on their site, so they could compete with the funny or dies and what not. So that was the premise, and they gave us a small amount of money, $5000, and from there it turned into the show.