Big, skinny, regular size it doesn't matter as long as your young.

Finding my dog's g spot is taking way longer than I would care to admit.

I go to the dentist every six months, I get a cleaning, so... I'm fortunate enough that those fluoride treatments as a child worked. Not getting any cavities.

I wasn't a pain in the ass when I was a kid. So I think being a screw-up as an adult is way more acceptable.

Recently started flat ironing my ball hair. Come on ladies, you know how it is; if you have curly hair you just want straight hair.

I apologize if there's a Parkinson's painter in the audience. I assume you do your best work in the morning. Probably gets abstract by noon.

I've always thought having a kid that played soccer would be the worst punishment. After watching 3 min of water polo I stand corrected.