Big, skinny, regular size it doesn't matter as long as your young.

Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.

The only thing surfers have in common with the rest of America is they're unemployed and they love crystal meth.

High school is just like glee, a bunch of people dying of drug overdose.

If Canada were really that great, it would be a state.

We'll put an asterisk next to Barry Bonds' name, sure, as soon as we put one next to Babe Ruth's name. Getting to break records before black people were allowed to play? Excuse me, where is that asterisk?

I grew up in Florida and went to school there, and ended up going to University of Central Florida.