I mean my goal is to get Michael Richards to do stand up at the Laugh Factory to an all black audience.

If you offer me a starring role in a movie, I have no interest.

Finding my dog's g spot is taking way longer than I would care to admit.

Here’s what I tell people now when they come to my shows: “First of all, thank you for stimulating the economy, or at least my economic package.”

It’s the ultimate pinnacle of stand-up to have an hour on HBO, but way more people see Comedy Central and they’ve been good to me.

I can say that. I have a television show.

Babies aren't dishwasher-safe.