My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had... so he sent me to a girls school.
Babies aren't dishwasher-safe.
I'm aware that I should end a joke with the good part, I choose not too.
I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.
I mean my goal is to get Michael Richards to do stand up at the Laugh Factory to an all black audience.
Instead of dumping all my money on an independent film that nobody would watch and most people would make fun of behind my back, I decided, 'I'm just going to buy a house.'