I hope we find a cure for every major disease, because I'm tired of walking 5K. I'm pretty sure I don't have to sweat for cancer. I'll write a check.
The day I notice a cyclist obey a stop sign is the day I'll stop enjoying watching them bounce off my hood.
The only thing better than the world's cutest cat is any dog.
Maybe everyone doesn't deserve a second chance. If I can be perfect why can't you?
I'll throw a globe at you! You ever been hit by the world?!
They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.