Instead of dumping all my money on an independent film that nobody would watch and most people would make fun of behind my back, I decided, 'I'm just going to buy a house.'

Germany's like Wisconsin, but with, like, a really bad past.

I grew up in Florida and went to school there, and ended up going to University of Central Florida.

I wasn't a pain in the ass when I was a kid. So I think being a screw-up as an adult is way more acceptable.

If you snort enough blow, any lane is a passing lane.

You know why they say that, that models are too skinny? Because parents are horrible, they can't tell their sixteen year old daughter she's not really a princess, well guess what, I can.

I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'