You know what really keeps your staff on their toes? A harpoon gun.
I was drinking tea the other day, and I thought: they used to fight wars over this.
Sometimes my mind wanders; other times it leaves completely.
Spelling is difficult because there are too many rules. Silent letters only exist to make it harder for illegal immigrants to learn English.
I'm not saying I'm smarter than Steve Jobs was, but I would have made the iPhone charger cord twice as long.
I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.