Canadians complain too much. 'I like seasons.' So do I; that's why I live in a place that skips the [unpleasant] ones.
Daniel ToshFifty Shades Of Grey proved you can write about a dude choking women and shoving stuff up their butts but heaven forbid if you tell a legitimate joke about it. Sure I doubled the number of feminists who hate me, but I also doubled the number of shows I have on TV. No regrets.
Daniel ToshI think it's kinda funny that all these rappers that used to be gangsters and thugs are telling us not to download their music from the internet, because that's stealing. Wow talk about ironic.
Daniel ToshHereโs what I tell people now when they come to my shows: โFirst of all, thank you for stimulating the economy, or at least my economic package.โ
Daniel ToshWomen can do anything men can do. Except math, chess, running, jumping, lifting stuff, fixing things, making money, hockey, surfing, driving, making decisions, being tall, taking out the garbage, tipping, fishing, being funny (on purpose), reading a map, listening to good bands, writing, running the country, inventing anything important, or being fun to hang out with.
Daniel Tosh