If security guards aren't allowed to carry guns, I don't have to obey their made up rules.
You know what really keeps your staff on their toes? A harpoon gun.
High school is just like glee, a bunch of people dying of drug overdose.
Scattergories is second base for Christians.
I worked in Toronto for two days. And by work I mean sit in a trailer for 15 hours, say two lines, and leave.
I don't know what's funny and what's not so I test out all of my material in front of audiences.