Here's a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent.

Saw myself naked in front of a mirror a couple days ago - that's not the joke, that's what we called the setup. I saw myself naked, and I said, 'Holy cow, I'm 'The White Man.' I've heard a lot of bad things about you, cracka.

I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or at least I look like it.

Something horrible happens and I try to make it funny. It's really a tortured life. You go to a salsa bar, at your local burrito stand, and you know, you think "how can you make a joke about this?"

If you had to eat another human to survive, do you think they'd taste like their ethnic background?

A gynecologist is the dentist for the downstairs mouth.

It's not a stereotype if it's always true.